Monday, September 7, 2009

ULTIMATUM


I just thought, I am luckier than Sue Hubbel or Sarah Salway because I knew exactly in my twenty first years of existence that most things are better as memories than reality. It's inevitable and subjective, your mind oftentimes choose the best memories to remember or how else can I say it, our minds choose to keep memories that are clear and palatable while blur the things that are yet obscure, more.
I've given myself a short notice. It's not about the final report of our research we ought to (heck, it's been queuing in my mind, capital D for deadline!!) but it's more of an ultimatum to end my naiveness and futile dreams. I'll never be the best for J, (excuse me Sarah Salway, I'm not talking about your John, it's rather a single letter J as for 10 which is my favorite number, period) and worse, I'll never be better for him.
I've regained my writing "self" and I'm quite fond of Taylor Swift's songs nowadays too. I love the rhythm and melody in general, so much to please my sense of hearing. I sing in the tunes except for one, the White Horse song. I didn't like the melody but even then and until now, the song keeps playing in my head; I'm drowning in the tide of the lyrics.. "I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairytale, I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet, ;lead her up the stairwell. This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town, I was a dreamer before you went and let me down. Now it's too late for you and your white horse, to come around."

Friday, September 4, 2009

Sirong

Everything was fresh and chilly, after the heavy rain the night before. The verdant leaves of the old mango tree in their backyard swayed crisply in the gentle wind that early Monday morning. The different orchids hanging in their yard were in perfect bloom; they lay bathing under the warmth of the impressive sun. She tried to remember what her mother taught her yesterday, about the different names of their orchids. She loved their names: cattleya, miltonia, vanda and a whole lot more. Women should be like orchids, her mother said, graceful and modest.
She thought it was a very pleasant day for the start of the school, quite enticing after all the pressures in her junior year. The newly-bathed world seemed to promise her a great day ahead in the private school she hoped to graduate from soon. She grew tired of seeing her old school that she attended from the start of her kindergarten years then to her six years in elementary up to now of her remaining last year in high school.

She met Rodel that June of her senior year in high school. He was a small boy for his age playing on that unpaved road at the front of their house in Buendia Street in Embarcadero. She learned later he was just two years younger than her, yet his physique would make anybody presume he was only eleven years old. On her way to school early that morning, Charyl met this skinny young boy carrying a pail of leftover foods loaded in his small rusting bicycle. He wore that loose white shirt that was too big and faded that it freely and gently swung against the wind in every turn of his pedal. He slowly pedaled his bicycle towards the small pathway of their house careful not to spill his load.
She was about to open their gate when she noticed the boy. It was not the old hanging clothes that he wore that caught her attention but it was the innocent yet joyous mood in the boy’s face as he passed by their gate. It was also a new face in their place as she knew all the children in the neighborhood. She had this habit and fondness of giving candies or sometimes some pieces of cheaper chocolates, the Choey Chocos she always bought from Aling Wending’s Sari-sari Store to these children every time she got home from school and she passed by these children playing patintero in front of their house. Sometimes her four-year old sister Maggie would complain whenever she asked for her pasalubong from her Ate and she could give nothing because she had offered all those sweets from her little friends outside. She smiled as these thoughts entered her mind. She pulled the gate and headed her way to the corner of their street to wait for a tricycle to carry her to school.

That afternoon she brought five pieces of orange flavored Maxx and another five pieces of her favorite Choey Chocos. She saw those children playing tumba-lata as she was approaching their house and, seeing her, they ran towards her.
“Hi Ate!” The children were shouting with excitement. “Have you any candies there?”
“Well, yeah, here, get one each of you. Hmm, have you been good to your parents today?” She was smiling as she gave her pasalubongs to her hyperkinetic friends.
“I helped my mother wash the dishes today.” The smallest of them Mara, the same age as her little sister, said proudly in response to her.
“Me too!” added Toby, the jolly fat kid from the house next to them.
Then she shifted her attention towards the young boy she just saw bicycling early that morning. In a distance, he sat on the old bamboo fence on the road side while gazing in an ardent manner at the children who were busy unpacking their sweet little prizes. She still had one left in her pocket. She approached the boy who was now looking towards her direction.
“You’re new here right?” she asked. “What’s your name?”
He was hesitant and his face revealed an expression of shyness at first. He diverted his look from her towards the ground. She offered him the last piece of chocolate she had before he revealed his name.
“I’m Rodel. We live in that house over there.” showing the direction with his pointing mouth.
“Rodel, I’m Charyl and I assume I’m older than you, so you can call me Ate ok. So where do you come from?”
A tiny voice was heard from their house; it was Maggie who was running towards them with a lollipop in her mouth.
“You’re so mean Ate! Don’t tell me you haven’t left any chocolate for me?” the tone of voice created a sense of guilt in Charyl’s part. She smiled at her little sister and led her towards the gate. “Mama is waiting for you inside. She heard you and asked me to fetch you.”
“Don’t worry Maggie I promise next time, I’ll buy you some chocolates.” She consoled her sister and placed her arm around her shoulder.
“And by the way Rodel,” she turned her back at the lad and gave him a jovial smile. “Let’s have a talk some other time. It’s nice meeting you.”
The boy smiled and gave her back a reassuring nod.

Later that night, they gathered at the table for dinner and asked her father about Rodel’s family. Mr. Cortes who was not used to hearing his daughter asking about the neighborhood gave her a questioning stare.
“I haven’t known them but someone told me they came from Cotabato City. They are evacuees of the war.”
“Ahh, the war between the military and the MILF, it was in the news this morning” Charyl added.
“What’s an MILF papa?” Her sister interrupted.
“Sssh, you shouldn’t interfere with the talks of the grown-ups Maggie.”
“But I’m almost as big as you Ate!”
“Haven’t I told you not to quarrel at the table?” Their father reminded them and gave them both a stern look. Mrs. Cortes was silent at the other end of the table, nibbling her food. She was tall woman, average in size and wearing her flowered dress. With that fair skin that she had, a beautiful nose resembling those of an eagle and a nice curling hair, one could tell at that point she was just on her late thirties, as Charyl’s classmates would always tell her every time her mother was the one attending their PTCA meeting because her father who was the president of the association had to travel to far cities and towns for days or weeks to attend seminars and congress. And they couldn’t believe what Charyl declared her mother was turning forty that December but never mentioned about the age of her father who was younger than her. She took care of her body intensively like how she managed all her household chores, and that made her great for Charyl as she would tell all her friends.
The scene was unnatural in the family. They ate in silence. Their father taught his two daughters to always show their good manners at the table. He was always worried about his dignity as the vice-mayor in their town; about the breeding of his decent and kind daughters, about his being a venerable padre de familia and a good husband. And that decency included not probing into other people’s lives that even their story, their marriage, was never talked about to his daughters.
For almost the sixteen years of their marriage Charyl never heard her mother or her father tell about how they ended up marrying each other. She only got to hear their story from her friends outside who also heard them from their parents, but oftentimes it was always Aling Wending whom she insisted on retelling the story of her parents. She would tease the old woman that if she didn’t tell her she won’t be buying in her small sari-sari store anymore. Yet it was not the teasing of Charyl that compelled her to grant her request. Somehow it was because she was the daughter of the vice mayor and that she felt the responsibility as well as everybody else to do the things that would please them. They were friends of everybody.
Charyl was also amazed by her abrupt attitude an the table. It was later that she realized how sudden and inappropriate her question was. It created a slight indignation in her father towards them, for their defiance of their table manners. She was interested in the young boy she met a while ago. He was slow-smiling yet she could feel his joviality and friendliness. That morning when she saw him, she felt a different jealousy for the ease and warm outlook in the boy’s face as he bicycled easily on that road.

The next day they didn’t have a class in Creative Writing. Charyl spent the whole afternoon dealing into Robert Frost’s poems. She quoted some of her favorite lines from one of the poems in an anthology and softly whispered it.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
“And miles to go before I sleep.” She repeated the last line and stopped. She looked at her window and saw her mother’s orchidarium. The bright and beautiful colors of the different orchids gave her coolness after her body was doomed by the hot and dusty afternoon. The bending dancing ladies looked like bowing subjects paying tribute to a powerful queen. She smiled at the thought, imagining herself as the queen and walked to and fro in an upright way.
She was examining the bright petals of the orchids when she noticed Rodel passing by, carrying his loaded pail.
“Rodel!” she called and the boy turned. He saw Charyl and gave her an uncertain look. “Come over here, I’ve got something to give you.”
“I can’t, I have to feed Mikhail and my sister.” He came near the walls of the gate to hear her better for a conversation.
“Can I come with you?” she asked. “But it’s alright if you don’t want.”
He was hesitant at first but his face brightened when he remembered the old books that he needed to fix and he needed someone to help him.
“Sure you can come if you promise to help me repair all my treasures.” And he flaunted a convincing smile.
“Treasures? What treasures?” She asked in amusement.
“Yes, of course, my treasures. Just come over and I’ll show them.”

The path leading to their house was small, covered with little stones and pebbles. They passed by small houses that never looked like houses to Charyl. They were made of nipa and she could see through the bare doors which hang thin curtains for decorations, the floors that were made of bamboos and where various plastic toys were scattered everywhere. She stared at the colorful bougainvillas and gumamelas growing in the big and old cans piled at the corners of their backyard. She felt the appreciation for the housewives who created these little flower gradens. Women were pretty creative, she thought, and the image of her mother spraying her orchids appeared in her mind; her lovely mother who never grew tired of taking care of her flowers as her daughters.
“That’s our house over there.” He cut off the silence and pointed his mouth towards it.
They walked silently and she acknowledged how blessed they were compared to these people. . She was thankful her parents never raised her and Maggie in place like that. They lived in a concrete house where all their necessities where provided in an instant after their request, except for the unnecessary things where they should earn the prize of having them by saving the money themselves.
“Who’s with you there right now?” she asked to cover up with her ruminations since they entered the small path walk leading to Rodel’s house.
“My little sister. I don’t know where my parents go. They leave everyday after breakfast to find food to feed us.”
“You mean you left your sister alone? How old is she?’
“About your sister’s age.” He stopped there and walked in silence. After a while she asked. “That girl who came to you yesterday, she’s your sister right?”
“Yeah, she’s four years old and her name is Maggie.”
Around a corner, Rodel’s house appeared. It was set far back from the main street, behind the little houses with bamboo fences. The house was illuminated by the massive sun glowing in the West, the light beaming in through the small windows with bamboo bars. Their windows were decorated with pink pongee carefully tucked in the left and right edges. She was surprised by the tidiness of that small house that looked the same from the outside with the other houses that they passed by. The living room was small and it was bare; with only a long wooden bench standing near the window and a divider between the kitchen and their sala.
“I want to show you my treasures,” he said and raised his arm, moving his skinny hand in graceful flourish, shaped like a tilde pointing to piled books in an old bookstand.
Charyl smile at the unexpected gesture of the boy.
“Well yeah I got it. So where did you get these books?”
“They’re from a friend way back in our old hometown in Cotabato, in Upi. Some I got from our school. I stole them.”
“You what?” She was becoming more curious.
“You know my teachers there were so evil and crazy to just burn the old books in our library. It would be a big regret if I just leave these precious books in the graves of their ashes. So when I had the chance to sneak, I gathered some and ran with the books.” The tone was a simple confession with enough honesty in it.
“That was amazing of you.” She said in surprise.
He smiled at the complement and pointed the wooden bench near the window. “Have a seat.”
She sat down carefully in the old bench. She thought that the leg would break, afraid she might knock over. “By the way, where’s your little sister?”
“She might still be sleeping in our little room.”
“What time will she be waking up?”
“I don’t know, maybe later.”
Her eyes wandered from the small corners of the room towards the heap of books on the shelf.
“You really like books, don’t you?”
“They’re part of my fantasy.” He got one of the books from the pile and carefully scanned the pages. “They’re old but they are still fine.”
“I like fantasies too. They take me to strange and fantastic places.”
“I learned from a friend; there are only two kinds of people, those who dream and those who don’t. I prefer to be a dreamer.”
Charyl was astounded, struck by the response of the lad. She didn’t expect the simplicity of his words yet with a tint of wisdom in it. She usually heard those things from her elementary teachers.
“I’m just a plain dreamer, but who knows” he shrugged his shoulder and held up the book, “I’ll be the next genius like Einstein or perhaps a good strategist like Hussein.” He let out a loud laughter for his odd thought.
“You’re kidding, Einstein is great but you don’t probably want to become a bomber.” Charyl was also giggling.
From the little room adjacent to the kitchen, they heard a low thud on the floor. It was Rodel’s little sister, Baningning who was sitting on the floor cradling a ball. Rodel lifted her up and brought her to the table and fed his sister. She had never done that to Maggie. They never had a helper or a yaya at home but her mother had been very careful and dedicated to all her responsibilities as a housewife. She stayed at home and did all the household chores. She never complained at the unending treadmill of her role. For Charyl she resembled a perfect beautiful orchid in her orchidarium, alive and fresh everyday.
She looked at Rodel feeding his little sister spoonfuls of lugaw and bits spilled on the floor. If she was in his place she would have surely shouted at Baningning for such clumsiness and she admired Rodel’s patience.
“I haven’t told you” he said “my sister isn’t normal. I heard from Tatay she has this some kind of syndrome. What do you call that? That was... anyway, everybody says she’s a mongoloid.”
She didn’t know how to react; she could feel the sympathy creeping inside her and a lump in her throat. How could have these people endure problems such as this, she thought. They might be brave and courageous enough to live in such conditions.
“How did she acquire that?”
“I don’t know. It runs through the blood of my family; my cousin got one too.”
“Can it be cured?”
The shrug in his shoulders was enough for Charyl to stay silent. He didn’t know the answer and she didn’t have anything to say either. Even if that illness could be cured, still with the state of their condition she knew they couldn’t afford it financially.
She wanted to ask about his old hometown in Cotabato, his family, the war, everything that would support or disprove the rumors, but she was afraid she might take something away from him. Maybe that wasn’t the right time; she convinced herself.
‘You mentioned a name earlier.” She asked to digress from their topic.
“Ahh Mikhail? That’s the name of the barako of our neighbor. I’m feeding it for the old lady and I got some payment for it. After I feed Baningning, I’ll be feeding him also.”
“How much do you earn from that?”
“Just enough, five pesos every pail”
“What are you going to do with your money?”
“I’m saving for something. I heard the fiesta here will be on August. I’d like to buy a pair of slippers for me and Baningning. Our journey would be easier if we have better slippers. ”
Charyl was caught dumbfounded. There was the tone of maturity in the boy’s voice that she didn’t anticipate from his smallness.

Within days and weeks, they grew close to each other. Charyl helped him fix his books and covered them with recycled cellophanes she brought from their house. During weekend afternoons she accompanied Rodel in getting the leftovers from the neighborhood and helped in feeding Baningning. It was not only her compassion for Rodel’s condition but that she found her closeness towards Rodel like a sibling. She treated him and his sister the way she treated Maggie. She cared for them like a responsible and concerned older sister.
One afternoon she was looking at the flowers her mother had just bought three weeks ago, a new kind of orchid—dendrobiums as she introduced them to her. Her mother was quite particular to the orchids she brought home. She even mentioned the name where it originated; dendron tree and bios life. Sometimes she enjoyed listening to her mother’s lectures on flowers but oftentimes it annoyed her so easily—memorizing names which she thought has nothing to do with their lives. But she was surprised that afternoon to see the new kind of orchids bore delicate petals so quickly. It was soothing in the eyes; their lavender, bright orange and yellow colors preserved the humidity of the afternoon.

There was the raising of loud clamor of trumpets and drums when August came, the much-awaited fiesta in their town. Charyl and Rodel were both excited, they would love to see young boys and girls in their colorful costumes and painted bodies parading and dancing in the streets; it was the Sirong festival. The streets were full of people and loud noises of cars and other vehicles were screeching to avoid running over them. These were the people from all walks of life engaging in that once in a year celebration of their patron saint: the Immaculada Concepcion. People commemorated the feast of their saint to acknowledge the abundance of their harvests, the good health of their family, the happiness and prosperity of the town. These people believed their celebration was blessed by the Virgin Mother for that bright and fair day. There were the colorful banderitas that hung from windows of opposite houses on the streets.
The big park at the right side of the church where huge trees were growing in verdancy, provided a resting place for the people; men and women who were tired after the long procession, youngsters who were too exhausted after walking for hours in the streets chattering with their friends and cousins, and drunk men who were about to drift into the comatose stage. There were the benches around that enticed lovers to take their seats and enjoy the moment and the sight around and the big fountains where different birds gathered and rest for a while in times these fountains were not in function; these little birds that seemed to watch people and read their thoughts or familiarize their movements; each of the folks doing their own business.
The morning was spent by the town folks preparing for the procession of their patron saint. The priest with the white robe as well as his young sacristans, old women in mantillas, middle-aged women chatting and others who were silent carrying their babies gathered outside the church after the mass and marched in the streets, past the park, past the small and big houses under the avenues of acacias and narras towards the market and back to the church where they started. Only Mr. and Mrs. Cortes joined in the procession. They left their daughters who were still sleeping in their beds. The girls were tired after watching the Palabwanay sa Awit; a singing contest in the plaza the other night with their cousins which they found boring and so they transfered to the concert of the well-known bands coming from different cities in the gym.
It was already eight in the morning when Charyl woke up, arranging her bed hastily. She looked at the clock on the wall and realizing she was almost late for the motorbike race event that morning, she quickly ran downstairs and headed to the bathroom.
By fifteen minutes past eight, she was on Rodel’s house. She saw Aling Tesing, almost done washing the dishes while her husband Mang Selmo was finishing his cup of coffee in the little kitchen table.
“Good morning Aling Tesing and Mang Selmo!” She greeted them with a cheerful smile. That was an unusual morning for Charyl, catching Rodel’s parents in their house. She never saw them by morning in her visits, except only on late afternoons, after the six o’clock bell ring in the distant church.
“Yes good morning too! You’re very early today, Rodel’s still asleep but you can wake him up.” She replied.
Aling Tesing was a good and industrious woman. She had a gentle voice and whenever she spoke, Charyl would feel the kindheartedness and acceptance in that house. She was pretty older than her mother, with the smooth wrinkles on her forehead and white strands on her long hair. Mang Selmo was always silent and Charyl could feel his indifference towards her. She would seldom hear him talk. Her father was a strict man, but compared to Rodel’s father, she felt like Mang selmo got the whole world on his back to carry. Maybe their awful situation was enough to aggravate all his burdens.
“By the way Selmo,” she added “finish your coffee quickly, I don’t want to embarrass the Vice-mayor.”
Mang Selmo didn’t answer and minutes later, he brought his mug to the kitchen sink.
“Don’t worry Aling Tesing, Mama and Papa are still in the church. I think they’ll be home later pa.”
“Thank you Charyl. Please tell Rodel to take care of his sister, I’ll bring their lunch later.” She requested her.
They went out of their house quickly. Charyl didn’t had the chance to ask her if she could bring Rodel and Baningning with her to the motorcade event. Maybe she will aske her later.
“Rodel wake up!” Charyl shook him. He was bending with a faded blanket on his back on the old mat he shared with his parents and his sister who was still sleeping beside him; like a pupa curling in refuge. “Come on, the motorcade will be starting in a few minutes!”
Rodel was yawning and squinting when he got up from the floor. “Wait, can I bring Baningning with me? No one will look after her. Nanay and Tatay are the cooks in your house right?”
“Yes, I saw them this morning.”
“We can drop by and leave Baningning there. Five minutes, I will just wash my face.” He ran quickly towards the sink and afterwards dressed himself and his little sister who got up slowly and was still rubbing her eyes, while Charyl helped her change her clothes.
The field where the motorcade was held was fully packed with people coming from distant barangays and neighboring towns. Some traveled far just to witness the spectacular event. The riders wore gears and their motorcycles were decorated with little streamers of different colors; blue, silver, red but they were removed when the contest began. The spectators around the field as well as the contestants were vastly excited. Rodel counted them; there were ten of them who would join the first round. In the center of the grassy ground, little mountains of soil rose like small islands and on top a young man was raising a banner to signify the start of the game and holding a handy board on his left hand where the number of rounds was written.
Charyl watched her companion who was squinting at the sunlit blue sky. “What are you watching over there? Do you see motor riders flying?” she was teasing him.
“You wish!” and laughed, “I can feel the heavy winds and I’m looking at the clouds. I think it will rain.”
“Don’t be foolish. You wouldn’t want to screw up this event just because of the weather.” She protested.
The heavy gusts of the wind were enough to make the banners marking the game flutter every now and then. With the signal of the man on top of the little tower at the front edge of the field, the contest began. The crowds were shouting as each rider speeded up their motorcycles and flashed while leaping up the mounds. They were like grasses circling around the field waiting to be tossed off by the wind of fate.
The game was stopped for a while when one rider fell from his motorcycle accidentally in one of his leaps on the fourth round; the crowds were in a sudden commotion. The members of the medical team who were assigned to the game rushed towards the van waiting outside the gate, carrying the young man who fell off.
Charyl watched them in terror; her companion followed the running crowds with his eyes.
“You wouldn’t really know, accidents do come when you least expect them.” he murmured while shaking his head in sympathy.
“That’s awful! Such a misfortune!” she declared and sighed heavily.
“No one is to be blamed really. Nobody wished for it but I’m sure everybody is prepared for this. Accidents in games like this should be anticipated.”
‘I hope he’s not injured badly.”
“Too bad he won’t be able to join the last round.”
“I guess I can’t take of this anymore. Another accident will make me faint.”
“Sssh, you’re hoping for it.” he stopped her.
“I’m not!” she protested “Rodel can we just go home? Besides I’m getting hungry, I haven’t taken my breakfast. I was too badly excited for this.” She pleaded.
“If that’s what you want.”
The fresh air in the morning was replaced by hot blasts of wind at noon but there were few a spots in the sky filled with dark clouds. They walked the dusty street filled with walking people whom Charyl didn’t know the destinations, others they passed by sitting on the benches of the plaza, under the luxuriant leaves of the acacias. These people were just competing with the vehicle problems on the street, she thought.
They had just arrived at the Cortes’ house when tiny drops of rain slowly began to fall. The house was filled with many people. They had a lot of visitors, big people from the neighboring towns; the mayors and the vice-mayors of Madrid, Carmen and many others, politicians who were friends of Charyl’s father. The living room was occupied by her mother’s friends who were enjoying themselves, eating desserts, laughing and chatting noisily like bees, while the politicians gathered around the table talking about the latest events in the country, their plans and their concerns about their towns as if the event was meant for a meeting or a discussions on politics.
The two made their way at the back of their house and appeared at the kitchen. Aling Tesing, Rodel’s mother was surprised to see them. She was cuddling Baningning who was asleep on her lap. Mang Selmo was busy chopping the pork on the table outside. The smell of the kitchen was dominated by the nilagang baka boiling in the big pot which Mang Selmo set on the stove before doing his next task. The aroma of it made the two hungrier.
“Rodel, can you take Baningning home? You see, I wasn’t able to help your father in the kitchen because your sister is disturbing me.” Aling Tesing was complaining.
“But Nay, it’s still raining,” he protested, he didn’t want to go home yet. “I haven’t brought an umbrella! Besides we don’t have umbrella either.”
“Maybe later, you can just get her so that I can do my work.”
“Aling Tesing, Baningning can sleep in my room,” Charyl suggested “if the rain stops I and Rodel can send her home.”
“But your mother might be angry” she hesitated.
“I don’t think so, besides she’s busy with her visitors.” She assured her.
“Alright, that’s very kind of you Charyl. Rodel take your sister. Be careful not to wake her up, she might be crying again and disturb the visitors.”
“Yes Nay” he answered. He brought his sister towards Charyl’s room and laid her on the soft bed. It was a beautiful room, he noticed. There was the ambience of pinkness in it; the room was painted pink all over and the window was decorated with pink flowery curtain in which he could see through the street like a big gaping mouth of a higante receiving the falling waters from heaven. There was the little table and a chair at the foot of the bed with a pink lampshade. There was also the small shelf with piled books on top and beside it, a vase with plastic flowers. The family portraits were hung close to one another on the walls. Rodel noticed there was something common in them: the intricate yet lovely curls in their hair. The pictures were all smiling; Vice-mayor Cortes in his wide eyes glass and his wife who had a gorgeous yet reluctant smile.
“Rodel” his scrutiny was halted by Charyl’s intrusion, “I’m really hungry.”
The two went down and satisfied themselves with abundance of food on the table; lechon, afritada, steak and Rodel heaped his plate with viands and desserts, eating them hastily like a hungry beast consuming more of his customary fill. Charyl was the first to finish so she waited and watched Rodel gobbled up his food, unmindful of her watching eyes.
In her room after eating, they relished the dull moment on that rainy afternoon reading her favorite poets.
“You’re thirteen, right? Don’t you have any plan to enter high school?” Charyl asked.
“I haven’t finished my elementary.”
“But you want to go to school?”
Rodel didn’t answer. Charyl had been expecting it and she knew she had struck Rodel. For two months that passed, she got closer to him and somehow she knew him, his attitude and even his outlooks in life. There were just things that she needed to clarify. He was vocal, but there were certain things he kept for himself, for privacy. She threw questions at times but she made sure those weren’t too much to steal his privacy.
“You will be graduating on March right?” It was obvious that he didn’t want to answer the question.
“Yes.” It was the only word that she could answer in response.
“You’re very lucky; you have parents who can afford to send you to a private school.” There was a tinge of pain when he said it. It was not jealousy or some sort; his words were rather an anticipation of her deprivation. She felt a shame for herself, for growing tired of the almost nine years she spent in her old private school, and regret for having asked the question.
There was a long silence in that room. Charyl’s eyes were into the book she was holding. She wasn’t reading the poems inside it; it was just a mere blank stare. The rain continued, its sound on the roof like pebbles crashing on big stones.
“We better read newspapers or magazines and learn something than becoming stupid in these poems.” he declared sullenly.
Charyl turned furious by what she heard and shouted back at him, initiating their childish prattle. They argued their sides waking up Baningning who awoke alarmed by the blaring voices and resorted to a loud cry.
“What’s happening here?” Mrs. Cortes was upset by the noise in the room that reached up the visitor’s ears in the sala. “Charyl! Why are they here in your room?” the sight of Baningning who was now weeping softly, maybe frightened by the sharp voice of Mrs. Cortes, made her even more cross. “Take them out here, go!” she demanded.
Charyl led the two who were terribly frightened by the sharp voice of her mother down to the kitchen. His mother, who was ladling the bihon she was cooking on a large pan, was grumbling after Rodel told her what happened upstairs. She was blaming him for what happened. Charyl who was silent in one corner felt guilty and ashamed of her mother’s treatment towards her friends.
An hour passed and the rain ceased. Outside everything was lulled in silence, the little holes on the road which were unpaved by concrete cement and asphalt were filled with rainwater. Rodel decided to go home with Baningning but Charyl convinced them to go with her and watch the Sirong event in the nearby elementary school.
“Please Rodel, I’ll pay your entrance fee” she was pleading. “You see, I can’t bring Maggie, she’s asleep.”
“Ok, but how about Baningning? Can we bring her?” he asked.
“Yes sure. I guess she will also enjoy the sight.”
“So what are we waiting for? Let’s go!” he said gaily.

They walked the long street slowly, Rodel carrying Baningning at his back and Charyl drawing attention to the beautiful dresses on the shops. They passed by the toy store which made Baningning want to get loose from Rodel’s hold, speaking her words irregularly and pointing to the different toys that she saw; the teddy bears smiling to convince those who passed by to get them out of that store, the balloons in firm grasp of the vendor swaying elegantly in all its charming colors as if wanting to get loose towards the clear weightless sky.
“You’re going to buy slippers for Baningning, right?” she reminded him as they passed by the shoe store.
“I want to, but my saving’s not enough. I saw a pair of beautiful sandals in that store the other day.” His voice had a tinge of regret as she continued walking.
“How much do they cost?” she asked.
“About fifty, I’ve got thirty pesos here. Maybe I’ll buy that next time. Four pails of food for Mikhail and I’ll have the money!”
“Let’s buy them!”
“I told you, I don’t have enough money for now.”
“I can lend you if you want. I’ve one hundred pesos here, one ticket costs only twenty pesos and three tickets cost sixty. I’ll have forty pesos left.” She gave him a wide smile. She thought that was the only thing she could do to appease them for what happened in their house a moment ago.
“Are you sure? I can only pay you back next week.” But he wasn’t even sure if he could earn the money by that time. He just wanted to get the sandal at that point and the truth was that he was praying for this chance; for someone to lend him money even if he would give back twice the payment. That was how desperate he was.
“Yes, of course!” she exclaimed and pulled Baningning towards the store.
The attendants and cashier stared at them when they entered the store; everywhere Charyl could feel their scrutinizing eyes, the way they looked at Rodel’s sister with disgusted eyes as if Baningning was a headline in a newspaper which they needed to peer at and examine closely. She wanted to yell at their faces, mind your own business!
“Miss, you’re Vice-mayor’s daughter right? Is that girl your sister?” the cashier asked her when she paid the sandals at the counter. Rodel and Baningning were following at her back like innocent puppies tailing their mother. She was getting more annoyed with those questions. What then if Baningning was her sister, she thought, would that affect the way they would look at her father? Were they implying her father was a politician who was hiding something like the possibility of hiding a defective daughter if certainly the case was that they were really siblings?
“Miss,” she stressed the word, “is that question part of your job?” and flaunted her sarcastic smile. The cashier, quite ashamed by Charyl’s reaction, turned silent and slowly wrapped the item. Even when they walked out the place, Charyl could still feel their gazes; pins that were seeping through her back while she wasn’t sure whether Rodel also felt that way. She wanted to ask him but she couldn’t even dare. And if in case he was hurt by the prejudiced looks of these people. She believed she could handle them. There are these people, she thought, who feel themselves much superior to those with defects, what a pity for them!
They arrived at the place where the Sirong event was held; like the motorcade field, there were many people who gathered around to witness the dramatic dances of the participants coming from different towns. The ground was still wet after the heavy rain that threatened the certainty of the event. There were five delegates from different towns and they were all astounding in their colorful costumes while others wore only bahags and their bodies painted which were brown. Their enormous and grand props showed their great effort and time in preparing for that event; and there was only one goal: to impress the judges and bag the gold. The host announced the start of the contest and the first delegate from Placer del Norte entered the ground where they performed well. Exceptional! And the crowds clapped in approval.
Charyl and Rodel, who was carrying Baningning on his back, were running to catch up with the first performers. They didn’t mind the crowds they passed by who were throwing glances at the young girl who was smiling gaily at the populous sight while being carried by the small boy who was perspiring with the weight on his back.
“How pitiful they are,” Charyl heard them whisper to one another. She didn’t want to pay attention to what these people had been rattling, but they won’t escape her keen ears. She forced herself to be heedless of their prattles; she talked to Rodel and focused on the performers with the bahags, the dancers in Manuvu costumes wearing tribal beads, others carrying huge fans made of anahaw. They danced and performed gracefully but these were all just shows, a perfect entertainment of staged wars between the conqueror and the natives. The costumes and paints showed diverse groups of people staging their story which were not their own.

Sometime an early morning toward the middle of December, the sky let down the heavy weight it was carrying and poured down pails of water to the brown earth. Charyl just awoke from her quiet slumber in her bedroom and stayed at their sala watching the rainwater drop heavily from the gutter in the roof. She gazed through the window at the wet yellow durantas gleaming under the rain.
“Up so early?” her father said, passing and glancing at her over the tops of his eyeglass, holding his mug of coffee. She just gave a quick look at her father and turned to meditate again at the mesmerizing sound of the rain.
She remembered once when she helped Rodel get his regular pail of load one afternoon in early September, and she asked. “Why don’t you get this early in the morning?”
He replied, “What to catch early worm?” and laughed. “I don’t care about worms, I only care for Mikhail.” and laughed out.
Waking in the morning when there was no class was really a peculiar occurrence she realized, and she was not used to getting up early. She decided to bring Rodel’s family the arroz caldo that her mother had just cooked for their breakfast. She sneaked in the kitchen and walked the drenched streets in her raincoat and umbrella towards her destination.
They sat on the long wooden bench by the window. Charyl was amusing herself with the raindrops and Rodel was spooning the arroz caldo on the small bowl while Baningning was crawling on the floor, enjoying herself with her toys. Charyl hummed an old Christmas song, Mary’s boy child Jesus Christ was born on Christmas day.
“Christmas season, has always been cold.” She said. “But I love holidays especially when there is no class.” She waited for an answer but there was only silence. Rodel kept nibbling his food.
“What do you do during Christmas season Rodel?” She turned to him to make sure he will answer her. “I mean your preparations for this occasion?”
He stopped eating and watched the dark heavy sky. He swallowed first the remaining food on his mouth before he answered.
“In my old hometown,” he said “December was no occasion festive at all.” He stopped and stared at distance. “I have an older sister.”
“You have? Where is she?” she asked.
“She was killed...” he paused, “in a bus bombing, a year ago. It was also December.” He glanced at her and gazed again at the gloomy sky.
“She used to bring us delicious food, every Christmas Eve. I told you, December for the people there was never a festivity, but in our house, we got to eat special foods like pancit and lechon manok, though we can hear falling bombs and gunshots ringing in a distance. We didn’t mind them, the MILF and the militaries, competing for the loudest shots. The war was pretty normal, gunshots clear in the day, piercing in the night. We weren’t afraid; we believed they won’t hurt us. We had faith, they will spare us. There was this man, an MILF commander, Al Haj Bravo as he introduced himself, knocked on our door one night, asking for some food. My father let him in, I was on our little room, tucking Baningning in bed, but I can hear them. Their voices clear in my ears. He promised Nanay and Tatay many things. The MILFs had an issue, about these ancestral domains. He said that if the government would give them their rights, everybody will be in peace. He was eloquent; I knew he had convinced Nanay and Tatay. It was a serious talk, after that, I heard noise in the kitchen, a clamor of plates and the man was gone. My sister, Ate Remi arrived an hour later, I was very glad to see her. I was so excited to open her pasalubongs. She was working as a saleslady in the city. She never finished her high school but she was very intelligent and hardworking. She got a good job. She was motivating me, supporting my financial needs and encouraging me to finish my education. She brought lots of delicious foods that night, a box of Dunkin Donut, packs of chocolates and breads, pancit bihon and my favorite lechon manok. We were so happy that night. It was cold, and strange, we never heard gunshots. Everything was peaceful and quiet; the stars were bright and clear outside. We enjoyed the food, I’ve never seen Baningning so happy, she can’t talk but I knew she was very happy. I saw the glint in her eyes as she cradled one piece of that Bavarian-filled donut in her bosom. Nanay and Tatay were laughing loudly in the table while Ate Remi cracked her jokes. I was also giggling with them as I nibbled the yummy wings of lechon manok. Moment later, the nearby church bell rang vociferously at the struck of twelve, after a series of ringing, everything was quiet again, only the buzzing of nocturnal insects could be heard somewhere, piercing the night. We slept peacefully that night. I even dreamt of Ate Remi, she was smiling as we swung gaily on a see saw. We awoke early by morning, because Ate Remi will be going back to Davao, she couldn’t make a leave because that would be a very busy shopper’s day in the mall where she worked and she needed to go back by eight which was her scheduled duty. We accompanied her up to the tricycle terminal. She hugged us very tight, she bade us goodbye and reminded me to take care of Nanay, Tatay and Baningning, and the tricycle headed towards the bus terminal. By afternoon, a neighbor came shouting and running towards our house, telling us horrifying news: my sister was one of the victims of the bombing in the terminal. Someone saw her, an old man. She was standing in one corner, waiting for the bus bound for Davao, and the bus came, just a moment it arrived, the bus exploded. It was a broken glass from the window of the bus that struck her chest leading to her instant death. The old man saw a tall guy in red bonnet and black scarf, that guy leave a small cartoon in the bus entrance and disappeared before the bus exploded. Later in the news, he was identified as Al Haj Bravo. I could feel the outrage deep inside me; I wanted to kill that MILF commander. Tatay was comforting Nanay who was crying loudly after hearing the news. We wanted justice for her sudden death, we condemned the MILFs, but we can do nothing and Nanay was afraid of what might happen next. I could be the next victim, or Tatay or my poor sister. We escaped and came here trying to forget the brutality of that place but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t burry that dreadful incident. It still recurred to me over and over again. At night I could still dream of broken glasses flying everywhere, they’re horrible and they’re haunting me, haunting those people I love.”
There was the sadness in his words and Charyl could deeply sense his fear and pain. He was glaring blankly at the rain outside. The raindrops fell heavily and crashing into the open ground but there was the penetrating silence between them.
Charyl felt numb, she couldn’t even dare ask again about that story, it was a piercing reality that was slapped to her face and she wished she could escape that, the way Rodel’s family had run off from all the misfortunes they had.

Rodel will be a full-grown man after ten years. He won’t finish his education in high school though he will be lucky enough to be given the opportunity to be the only grantee of the scholarship given by Charyl’s father. He will be a man of morals and dignity and on his twenty-third birthday on midsummer April, he will disappear suddenly. Rumors will spread that he joined the group who condemns the evil and faulty doings of those politicians in the government, who believe in the ideals and the necessity of revolution. By early morning of November on that same year, a solitary fisherman will take sight of a body wrap in cloth floating on a river, strained in the outspreading nipa palm roots near the Macapagal Bridge. Later it will be identified as the body of Baningning; her body with burned spots left by pressing a hot coin. This sight will leave the growing crowd in extremity of disgust, sympathy and terror. Charyl will deeply grieve for Baningning’s death; the town folks believed she was with the rebels, taken care of, after the death of Aling Tesing and Mang Selmo. She will condemn those who did severe cruelty to this helpless even retarded woman. She will learn later about Rodel’s death after their encounter with the militaries in the far east, in the sloping mountains of Diwata. She will feel even more the grievance for his sudden death.
Another ten years and Charyl will be sitting at the chairs on the stage reserved for the candidates of the 2050 election. But she will not be the running candidate herself; she will be supporting her husband who will be running for mayor in their town. She will be his campaign manager, the ever-supportive wife of the intelligent and prominent businessman in town, Francis Plaza.
Down on the dusty road, a young boy will be seen driving an old motorcycle. The screeching noise will irritate the whole crowd and the candidate speaking on the stage. The motorcycle will pass the big acacias, bypassing the watching and listening crowd and the candidates upstage who will be very busy fanning themselves because of the dreadful heat of the afternoon. They will whisper to one another from time to time. Some will be listening to the speech of one candidate at the front, as if to apprehend seriously of what they are hearing but at the back of their minds are the possibilities of their anticipated victories.
On her chair, Charyl will remember her dead parents; her venerable parents who made her into a decent woman she thinks she is now. She will think of her five-year old daughter, Alexandra, who have ADHD or the hyperactive syndrome; a vivacious and blessed child, provided not just the things she needed but with all those she wanted. She will think of Rodel and their friendship that endured the fast fleeting of time; the arbiter of life and death, he once said.
The sky above will seem weightless, the void color of blue expanding all over it. The horizon beyond will paint a mark of emptiness and despair in Charyl’s mind.
She will see the bright and colorful orchids of her mother at the back of her brain, withering under the creeping white heat of the sun, the wilting that seems like a mockery to those people who lived their pretentious life. And she will clap absent-mindedly after the splendid speech of her husband; the scripted speech she made five years ago since her husband tried to run for the mayor’s position.

Casa Rica

The young woman stared blankly at the glistening shore, starkly festooned by the gloomy sunset linings. Her tiny arms hugging her bony folded-bony knees as she sat down in a wooden slat, laid bare and unpainted surviving the course of many seasons; every folding of time where lovers sat down there, feeling the enticing caress of the cooling breeze; and other times, a stray soul would slob around in a desperate hopeless trance. As she watched the puny pigeons cruising in V-form disappear in the deep indigo sky, she realized how long she had stayed numb and wordless—her companion also staring at her, still, in is sitting position adjacent to her. “Ate, it’s getting late.”
Marissa only grunted and returned his steady look with a pleading gaze. “Can we stay a little longer?”
“Look, you’ve been sitting there for almost an hour, and—“
“Fine. I’m gonna stay here and you…” she fixed herself up and tapped her hands as she headed towards her brother at the opposite side. “Sean, can I just call you later and fetch me?”
Clutching the motorcycle key upwards, she got her right hand and put that light thing gently into it. “I want to stay here for a while, perhaps, another hour would do.”
They couldn’t fight at this moment. Perhaps they were both tired for always arguing lately. Minutes later, the screeching sound of the Honda motorcycle they brought was heard at a distance, slower, and then no more sound. At the table in the center was her black helmet that she refused to wear a moment ago in their house. “This helmet’s just been giving me another burden, I feel uncomfortable.”
“Do you want me to wear it for you stone head? Sean, her only brother got irritated by her complaints every now and then—after the death of her husband.

She returned to her previous position, fixed her gaze again at the calm sea, her chin rested weightlessly on her knees. At the peeping avenue of the islands beyond—the graciously beautiful islands of Casa Rica—cut by the sparkling elegance of the sea, the sun was pinned like a glowing fire ball in a painting, sinking lazily in the horizon. Soon it will be dusk, full and dark, everything around would blur in breathless silence.
She felt the urge in her feet to touch the soft sea water. She rose from her seat and dawdled in the shoaling smooth white sand, scattered around like fresh powdered milk showered in blessings from the sweet heavens above. She waited for the little tides to embrace her little feet as she drowned herself in stupefied emotions, clear and loud like her throbbing heart in excited contact with the gurgling sea.
The islands of Casa Rica, a few kilometers beyond, stood valiantly in the open sea, its graciousness almost a spell casting on everyone who stood there in quick stupor. Like in dreams and fantasies, that island has become every couple’s castle and sure it was once their fortress—Marissa and Christopher’s.

Yes, the name was Christopher. She never thought she would fall into this man and never even had the idea that she would live her life with him—happily, yet for only short span of time. She spelled the name on the clear white sand with her bare finger—CHRISTOPHER. Such was a beautiful name, she marveled. The name that rescued her a many times before. He gave her back her name even her soul, in times of hopelessness and depression when that Jurassic whorehouse in that small town almost gulped her up—alive and sinful. And then this man came—respectable and distinguished. The name of their clan that had written and gave highlights to the history of their town. The clan with the lucid blood of the politicians, of bachelors and the elites. He offered her his untainted love beyond odds, well enough to disregard her lonely doomed life. He never doubted her the way she thought he was just some sort of a man who would come and stay for a while—sleep with her and then leaves. She developed her liking to this man who knew how to handle an aberrant woman in bed—more of an attachment she felt when they would saunter in this enticing sea, side by side ignoring the malicious eyes of those who judge her ignobly like they were some folks of pure clean spirits!
And then the flapping tide crawl slowly crossing over the name and leaving no trace of it. A soft breeze whispered like a murmur of a sweet child playing with her slightly wavy dark hair. They were never been blessed with a child. And then he was gone. She looked up to see the naked sky—enormous and spread with a crimson hue so brilliant to distinguish a departing daylight.
She stared at the golden watch at her wrist, exactly 5:50. That was the only gift she accepted when they were dating first then, precious and treasured like a child. It was their 1st anniversary and they had a romantic date in the gleaming white sand of Casa Rica. She can’t resist the gift of Christopher at that moment like she always did in just ordinary days. She was afraid and hesitant; if she did, he might think their relationship was just like any typical mercenary one. But that day was special and remarkable. They rented a cottage and spend the night with enough passion and eagerness to possess each other’s body in a wild enthusiasm.
In the middle of the night when the stars were hanging on the black abysmal wilderness, competing for the attention of the exotic gorgeous moon, they sat on the sand completely marveled on the luminous beauty of the night sky drawn and reflected on the great gurgling sea, after having a full and scrumptious sweating event in bed. Their bodies were craving for a chilling swim in the warm sea. But the night sky was deeply alluring as they decided to sit down for a moment and watched everything motionless and still. Every animate species were like sleeping in their habitats and they could hear nothing but each others breathing and heart throbbing. The moment was tranquil, even the small coconut trees were still—each sturdy boughs and leaves seemed to be drawn in perfect harmony and immobility. Every now and then, small tides rose flashing irregularly, churned up low splashing in a bewitching murmur.
An hour of romantic silence between them was broken with a soft mumble of proposal—a sweet whisper of the usual ‘will you marry me’ of any brave tender men, but that voice seemed to be a familiar song in the ears of Marissa, clear and reverberating words of Christopher. She almost leaped from her lying position—head in his lap—hearing those words from him. How she had wished to witness his lips drew out those four words!
“What are you saying?” She was facing him, staring him directly right into his eyes. That time, she was not the woman she knew of herself. It felt like she was a renewed one, even more orgasmic and pleasurable than what they had a moment ago. She had a different feeling, an oozing heat in her body transcending the mundane one. It was an instant proposal that propped out of Christopher’s head, no ring, not even the typical act of kneeling in front of a woman, in pleading gentle eyes of a man who is ready to commit life in union with a woman who is also ready to surrender her name to his man.
“I said I want to marry you.” Not long that he finished his words, Marissa gave him a kiss so passionate and more loving.
Nothing moved on around them except for a single fish that had leaped out of water and had witnessed the passionate compromise of two people ready to face the new life of being a couple. Everything was still dark as it was; the night was invincible and mysterious, suggesting a cozy feeling of tenderness. The breeze silently whispered urging the swaying of the leaves and creepers as if they were nodding in approval and compassion for the two people under.

The distant 6o’clock bell of the nearby chapel was heard from afar. She looked again at her watch, advanced 10 minutes. Sean was not yet around, how could he be so long? She wondered, yet she was hoping he would come later. She walked around and again the face of Christopher was like a painting in her memory, etched there for a long time.

They had never met such warm grace of happiness in their first few months, far from their parents and people who didn’t and would never agree on that civil wedding.
The only person in the family who had witnessed that event was Sean, his brother in her father’s side. She had doted on this brother of hers very much, even when they have different mothers. She would do everything just to give him what he needs; their father and her stepmother whom the real mother of Sean had abandon and left them in the care of their uncle when they were young. Her uncle was such a bastard whom an evil figure to them; he who had cost her dignity as a woman at the age of seven. How he lavished her innocence and naïve purity at the back of their house for so many times. She’d thought her life was starkly ruined and that’s how she found herself in that whorehouse of the town. She knew a friend who had been working there and the one who recommended her to that fat old looking boss, the owner of Jurassic—that’s the name of that place in which no matter how she wanted to forget it, still it will always be a stain on her memory.

How could life be so mean to her? She thought. She was saved by Christopher from that haunting place, from their wicked uncle but still life had been so cruel.

The beautiful sky was fading in the horizon. Beyond the islands somber dark clouds were rising, hovering dauntingly. The trees were still.

Sugar Canes

My hands were trembling as I pull the long, slender stalk of sugar cane. I had some piles of sugar canes in my back and a heap of five or six lying on that grassy area of Mang Timo’s cane plantation. My friends were becoming impatient. “C’mon! That stupid old man is coming! Badik was yelling at me. She and the other four were standing outside that weak and old bamboo fence waiting for me, her brother Ramil, Fe, Bukoy and Roland. “Hurry up, leave the other ones.”
I almost fainted when I heard their shouts, my heart was immensely pounding, Badik jumped up the fence and helped me carry my harvest, I mean my stolen sugar canes and we hurried back to our hide-out as fast as our bony legs could. I was running feeling like my feet were not touching that grassy field. I was panting loudly, from afar I heard the angry shouts of the owner of the plantation and we crossed the bamboo bridge hanging limply above the river. I am acrophobic but the sight of the stirring bamboo bridge wasn’t much horrific than the angry shouts of the old man. We reached our little hide-out. It was a small hut that we once built, the covering was made of dried coconut leaves and small pieces of wood that we stole from the heap of firewood scattered to dry on the ground by our T.H.E. teacher, Mr. Dapusala. That was also the day that we escaped Mr. Bognot’s class, our first crazy adventure.
We were of the same company in our first attempt to steal sugar canes. It had been only two weeks earlier when we were amusing ourselves with spider gambling, Ramil, the oldest of the six of us arrived munching those chopped pieces of sweet sugar canes. Fe, the smallest toddler of the group was asking for a bit of those canes but he just ignored her. He said that we could get and taste more of what he had if we would go with him. Next, we find ourselves inside the plantation of Mang Timo, grabbing as many sugar canes as we can. Badik was bringing a sharp bolo, insisting it would help us get many stalks easily. As she tried to slash one of the standing canes, the end of the bolo sailed through my right thumbnail. I felt like crying but I concealed the tears for the sake of my stupid bravery. I pretended as if I was not hurt, but deep inside I wanted to crush her in my thumbnails. She was such an obnoxious little brat, saying that if I am brave I should not cry then. I just sipped the blood flowing from my wounded nail.
That was our second stealing adventure. I was lying inside our hide-out, still panting and the image of Mang Timo shouting came flooding back awakening my mind. As I looked at my fingernail I realized how pathetic and crazy I was. How I wish I didn’t involve myself in these wicked misadventure. How I wish I stayed in Ms. Bognot’s class, sitting quietly until I rock myself to sleep. How I prefer more to see her in front of me staring at my face with her big eyes, imagining those of a tarsier or hearing her sharp yelling “You better go home and dig camote!”
Actually, that day’s misadventure started innocently enough. It was Friday and we were having our recess time. The group was sitting on wooden stools in the shade of the old mango tree at the front of the canteen.
“I guess we should do something crazy today,” Badik said, “it’s the last day of class, Ms. Bognot would not mind if we would skip her class, besides we’re mark present on her class record this morning, what do you think?”
“That’s too much of us,” I replied hesitantly. “Remember what misfortune we had that day we tried to escape her class? Look at my finger—”
“Keep calm bro, that was long ago when the witch Bognot’s turned into bubbles, once upon a time when Magellan arrived in Japan.” Roland said in his confident smile as if those were serious and truthful declarations!
“What about creeping in Mang Jose’s cornfield?” Badik interrupted, “I saw those fresh corns perfect to be cooked and eaten. Hmmm yummy!”
“Nice idea bro (referring to his sister), guess you’re getting smarter after sipping the juicy stalks of sugar cane last week in Mang Timo’s backyard.” Ramil was laughing. “But another sneak in the sugarcane plantation I think is better, that’s easier than cooking ears of corns!”
“I’m up for that!” Bukoy exclaimed. “Let’s go!”
Ramil was the leader or should I say the boss of the group since he was the oldest among of us. I always doubted his ideas because they always seemed to land us in trouble. The ‘shit’ at the vegetable plots of Mr. Dapusala’s garden? Ramil’s idea. Stealing coconuts in exchange for a Aling Diday’s hotcakes? Ramil’s idea. Ramil, Ramil and Ramil’s. And now, I’m afraid Badik is on the track of leading evil plans.

My mother, a sixth grade teacher in our school, always have a long broom made of coconut leaves at the back of our door. If she knew I had done another mystery in school together with my ‘good’ friends, I would always received very excellent, red remarks in my legs coming from that hot bunch of coconut leaves that had landed perfectly on my delicate skin! While my father, such a responsible father; he always guards our house all day! Early in the morning he got a toast of lambanog from his friends, being the first to be knocked down, he took himself comfortable in the wooden couch outside our house, sleeping until the sun set; that’s his perfect way of guarding our antique house! In the evening, after my mother told him all my escapades, he would remind me, “Your friends are fine ones, and they just need some help and guidance.” That made me silent, “And if you go with them again, you’re going to need some help too.” You couldn’t imagine his help would come in a form of a size 38, leather black belt that he had inherited from his grandfather and a reward of fantastic, heavy books. The books will be my penitential objects. I would be kneeling in front of the altar, spreading my hands, and on top of them are the books. That would last until I would repent for all the wrongdoings I’ve done and then I would promise that I won’t do it again.
I’m not that evil I admit, I just want to hang out with my “good friends” for fun. We would throw jokes at each other. “Who among you can tell me the English word for santol?” I remember Bukoy in one of his jokes that day we ransacked the ripe santols of his Lola Meding. “What’s that?” I asked “Didn’t you got rid of all the corns in your tummy?” I was teasing him. I shouted, “sirit!” And he would laugh out his toothless mouth. “Eh di where dude?” We would then crack in outbursts of laughter.
Slowly my panting vanished; I was calmer. I remembered my benign mother and my venerable father, what if I would bring them these delicious sugar canes? Hey ma and pa look! here are sweet canes for you, it’s stolen, how ‘bout a whipping. I felt at ease to go home immediately and decided that would be my last stealing adventures with my “good friends” and draw a letter of P-R-O-M-I-S-E in the air.
After that sweet crunching and sipping of canes in our hide out, I went straight home. I didn’t bring canes but later my father found out about that silly stealing and running from Mang Timo. Because of my carelessness, I left my notebook in our hide-out; printed at the front page in a beautiful handwritten of my mother is my name.

Patience

A young boy of sixteen, Nilo freely lounge himself in the grassy area under the old santol tree at the back of their house and adoringly strokes his new-made sumpak, with such a naive zeal of pride as he points it towards the mounting sun in the east. Immensely pervading in his juvenile face is the great pleasure he has during the moment as his new metallic handgun glimmers under the cooling rays of that early sun. He knew deep inside, he will become a brave and tough policeman in their town.
Nilo helps his father in cultivating their fields. He has finished his high school a year ago in that small integrated school and now he decided to deter his schooling to earn enough money for the next school year in the Polytechnic College in the nearby town. It didn’t bother him if he will be left out by his classmates because his father had promised him that if they will have a bountiful harvest for that season they will have enough money to pay their debts to Mang Kanor and more for his tuition. He is somehow sure to enter college the next semester. The view of the brazen rice fields has overwhelmed his longing heart, he never believed the gods but now he is sure they have favored their crops. Their field offers a promise of enough satiation for the rainy season and satisfaction in the reaping period compared to the neighboring areas deposited with golden slender stalks of rice.
The next year will soon be a year of challenge and dreams for him but his optimism is greater than his childish vacillations. Besides he knew his cousin would help him for sure. Albert who is the son of his Tiyo Berto whom his father’s younger brother, is almost the same as his age; they have gone through the same school from their day care up to their high school. They build their hopes together, they both dreamed of becoming unbeatable policemen in the future. This made them stick together more than like brothers.
It is almost six o’clock in the morning, after he got Milyo from the river and tied him in the shade of that santol tree, he then sits under and looks at his sumpak with great admiration and pride. He is intently looking at his shining gun when Albert arrives dashing—painting an excitement on his face and shouting in his eager manly voice like no other day can craft such kind of mood in him.
“Nilo! I’ve got good news for you here!” He is panting noisily like a dog running miles and miles in the heat of the gleaming sun.
He immediately hides his sumpak under his nipa hat by the trunk of the tree and stands quickly to meet his cousin.
“Tell me right Bert! I’ve got a surprise for you, too. C’mon!”
“Wait, let me first rest ok?” he grins loud as he hurriedly goes towards the shade of the tree and Nilo follows after him.
“Know what Nil, Mamang went to the municipal hall last day. And guess what?”
“Well, don’t tell me she got the scholarship grant of the Mayor for you?”
“Exactly! You got it right!”
“Oh so you’ll be going into college soon.” His voice resonate a sound of sadness.
“Yes, and fortunately, it will be the two of us.”
“Don’t be silly Bert, you know our harvest last season offered only meager income to sustain us this year, we’ve got no money to support me if I go to college this coming June.”
“I’m serious. Mamang had convinced the secretary to give two slots for both of us.”
“Oh really?” His eyes grow wide with amazement and a sort of disbelief.
“Yup! Come let’s go to the municipal hall, she told me we need to get the papers and fill them up for the application huh.”
“Ah wait, I’ve also got to show you something.”
“What do you have there? Don’t tell me you’ve got a girl there hiding at the back of the tree?” He laughs in a devilish way.
“You always got flies in your head. Hahaha! But anyway, see that hat over there.”
Bert quickly opens the hat and yells as he was taken by surprise by what he sees.
“Man, I can’t believe this! How did you got this sumpak?
“Told ya, Mang Kanor gonna give it to me.”
“So that’s what you earned after following him in the mountains to hunt birds. Bravo! You don’t have a title yet but you now have the license to kill huh?”
“Yes of course, the license to kill birds!”
They both cackle loudly like valiant roosters in the early dawn.


Nilo is gazing towards the doorway of that ward, his mind crowded with furtive thoughts, unaware of the busy nurses almost running around to catch up with the different patients in that fully packed room. Beside him is his mother, Aling Mameng in her old age clear with the apparent white hairs all over and palpably the visible furrows in her forehead, lying unconsciously in that rusty metal chair.
He was almost a couple of days dwelling in that room—empty of possessions just the usual jumbles for a sickroom, yet crowded with many ill-people.
Propped on an old pillow, he constantly closes his eyes as he tries to remember something.

“You know what Nil, I’m so tired of your excuses.” It was Maggie, his girlfriend whom his cousin Albert had introduced to him in their acquaintance party. “That you and Hannah are just friends? Such a sweet loving, hands-holding friends the hell you are!”
“Oh c’mon Mag, don’t be so silly, I’m telling you it’s nothing.”
“What? I’m being silly? Well damn you, get out of this house and get out of my life!”
He tries to stand but fails. He falls back upon the bed helplessly to awaken his sleeping mother.
“Son, you wanna stand? You want me to call the doctor? His mother stands immediately, tying her loose hair.
“No mother, I’m all right. I’m just trying my strength.”
“Mother, did anyone try to visit me here?”
“If you mean your girlfriend Maggie, no she hasn’t drop by. And your father came this morning. You were sleeping. He was rushing but he promised to return later.
An air of silence absorbs in, he withdraws his sight from his mother and looks towards the unopened windows.
He remembers that innocent day, Albert dropped by their tambayan in the plaza. He and his brods had decided to escape the subject of the professor they hated most, who always nags at them for attending her subject late and making several absences. They spent time in that small park where the wooden slats were painted brown with initials and vandalisms of different groups and gangs carved on the back and on every sides. It was a fair morning and there was the crisp rattling of the young narra leaves, which gave shadows and refuge to the frail mayas.
“So what brings you here?” Nilo lights the cigarette he just put in his mouth.
“Maggie told me what happened.”
“Well, it’s always girls who’re looking for problems, you know.”
“So what’s your plan?”
“Plan? You mean with Maggie? There’s a lot more pretty girls out there.”
“So there’ll be problem if I’m gonna court her?”
“Oh.” That was the only single word that came from his mouth. He almost choked.
“I went to their boarding house the other night… It’s not really my intention; I guess I only want to help her—to comfort her.”
“What do you mean?”
“Nil, something happen between us…”
The words he heard were enough for his fist to involuntarily swing towards Albert’s face. It aroused him in rage and he gave another blow on his nose that led to a streaming of red drops in his nose. He in shock retaliated with a heavy knock on his forehead. Nilo suddenly fell on the ground and his mind was whirling. Albert gave him another beat on his lips while he clung to him, ready to kill with anger. They both drooped and they rolled on the grasses and tried every attempt to knock each other out. They were both terribly enraged.
There were only few people in that plaza and seeing the fight, they have gathered around and watched them wrestle like roosters in a cockfight.
His sumpak had been his last refuge. He had the chance to get his sumpak inside his jacket and aimed it towards Albert. The latter stood still in terror while he felt his nerves trembled and his hands were shaking. He was ready to shoot him.
He saw his face in horror and suddenly felt the guilt of his abrupt behavior.
Albert stood dumbfound, staring still angry—puzzled.
Nilo started to walk slowly from that place. Suddenly a loud boom was heard out from nowhere rigid and deafening that made the people run in disordered upheaval. A heavy weight fell on the ground.
“Albert!”
Another bullet came like a dashing arrow that hit him in the thigh. He sees Mac-Mac, the brother of Maggie with his revengeful looks and disappeared from behind the big trunk of the narra tree. He suddenly fell and saw nothing but darkness.


“Son here’s your father now.”
He is still silent in his bed, his attention outwards. It is quite hard to accept the present and forget what had happened. Could Albert still forgive him? He’s hoping. He believes. He will continue their dreams—of becoming a policeman, the unbeatable policeman in their town.

The Bats

It was in the cold night of that day, April 15, 1913, a year after the biggest ship in the world struck a huge iceberg and sank in the vast oceans of the North Atlantic, Sybelle, the beautiful daughter of Armand sat on her favorite chair, in front of the organ she liked to play best. In several strokes of he little fingers on the keyboard of the new piano that Armand gave her a month ago, she produced the sonorous rhythm of soprano alto that filled the air, attracting by passers outside to stop for a while and listen to the music being played in a distant. Those who were being allured by her sonata would gaze at the lighted window above, in huge three-storey redbrick house in Metairie, countrified suburb of New Orleans, and wondered about the marvelous person with a wonderful gift of music. Armand would always love to hear his beloved daughter play that song, the Appasionata from allegro assai or the First Movement in their rapid phrases as he lulled himself to sleep. She had a younger brother, Benjie who also loved to hear his sister play. Both of them loved the unusual ringing preciseness of her music that seemed to be the language of night during those nights they have been fully-fed by the blood of those criminals that sustained their immortality.
“You’re getting better everyday!” It was David Talbot, a man with a dark bronzed skin and a dry, thick black hair. He was young, about 20 years old. He was clapping from the hallway and entering the door, he praised Sybelle’s sonata. He caught sight of Pandora sitting on the couch on the right corner of the room and sat right beside her.
“She is the best.” Pandora suggested.
“Yeah, I’d better agree.” He replied.
“So what hurricane brings you here, my beloved David?” Her voice had a tinge of sarcasm on it. “Armand isn’t here by now, he had to go somewhere.”
“Nothing, I just missed our little talks.”
“Oh it’s you David!” Sybelle stopped playing and walked towards them.
He got up and gave Sybelle a gentle kiss and Pandora was not directly looking a them but was heeding at their conversation.
“I visited a friend from nearby and just thought of dropping here.”
“Well that’s good. It’s quite a long time since we talked.”
“I’d better go and find Armand.” Pandora interrupted. “Maybe we can talk some other time David, and Sybelle please take care of him.”
They took the concrete path towards the garden and Sybelle, sniffing the cold air from the east while David was tailing her. She smiled as she looked at their long-legged shadows that slipped in and out of trees under the bright moon.
“I love this scene at night.” Sybelle cut off the silence.
“Maybe we love the beauty of night,” David stopped and inhaled first the soft breeze before continuing, “it’s because we are beings who only have life at night.”
“And sometimes, it makes me sick all over. It’s not just the blood that we suck from these mortals. Sometimes it’s this Earth; it makes me feel as if it’s my purgatorial prison. You know what David; I don’t know what power it is that made me survived. I’m not afraid of death, but I can feel it, it’s like a shadow looming over us.”
“You’re talking nonsense Sybelle. You probably know our bodies are immortal, unlike these weak humans.”
“I never thought my dreams of blood would end up in this. I’ve never told anyone about this David, but I think I would burst if I continue keeping it.”
She gazed at the full moon above, preparing her thoughts. At their silence, swarm of bats came squeaking and disappeared suddenly behind the big trees.


She was sixteen then, living with her younger brother Benjie and her old parents in an old town in New Orleans. Her father was a businessman who traveled for days and weeks in different countries, while her mother waited for his return like any faithful dog waiting for his master.
Her dreams of a beautiful woman dressed in gold, with her accessories glinting as the light struck on them started soon as she arrived at her sixteenth year. She was beautiful, perhaps a queen, an ancient queen of an ancient land. Yet it was not her dazzling beauty that always appeared in her dreams that mystified Sybelle. In her dreams, the beautiful woman was cupping a red liquid with her hands from a fountain; it was blood, a fountain of blood! And Sybelle could hear her feminine laughter. “It is I who summoned you!”
She kept on telling her dreams to her father whenever he was at home and yet her father would always gave her the same answer.
“It’s because of your stupid fascination with women.” He would say.
She believed she had disappointed her father. He wanted her to become the decent woman like her mother. And that decency wouldn’t allow her to have an intimate affair with a woman. Whenever her father was not at home, she would invite her girlfriends in their house and they would just hang around, teasing and laughing with each other. And it was her mother who would tell her father about their whereabouts.
Some nights, Sybelle together with her friends had to sit on the wooden benches by the park to watch cars and people pass by, under the luminous moon and flickering lights of the stars and let the lousy time passed by.
They went there again one Saturday evening and strolled on the street side by the park. They stopped at Hermo’s coffee shop to have a sip of black coffee when Sybelle spotted a young woman sitting on the left corner of the shop. Her eyes searched for someone who might be the companion of the woman, but there were only her friends. She had dark, innocent eyes, a beautifully-carved nose and a lustrous hair. She had a very well-formed face; Sybelle thought she maybe was waiting for someone.
The next night they were there in that coffee shop again, with Sybelle’s persuasion of her friends, hoping that she would see the woman again. Her friends were chattering but she was carefully waiting on her chair in her furtive thoughts, and feeling a bit nervous for she was planning to introduce herself, if in case she was alone; that woman who had a beautiful hair and a dark intense eyes. In her silence, she could hear again the feminine laughter of the ancient queen, and it recurred to her, the words in her dreams; “It is I who summoned you!”
The shop had transparent window panes and beyond her gaze, she saw the woman coming towards them. She was wearing a black dress and her looks still looked the same, the brilliance of her face struck her secret disposition.
She was silently waiting on her chair, carefully watching the woman beyond the glass window. The shop had a solid door in the middle but she didn’t see the woman enter.
Sybelle leaned on her chair, looked at the people inside and searched for the woman. She was not there, finally she sighed. A moment later she excused herself from her friends and decided to go home. She said she was not feeling well but deep inside was her frustration.
She slowly walked the street side along the park, thinking of her dreams that bothered her fro several nights. She thought of the ancient woman, her laughter and the blood that she cupped to drink. It was the last bench near the street that she was about to pass when her eyes caught sight of the woman sitting there. The woman who dressed in black, the same woman she was waiting to enter the shop an hour ago. She stopped to look at the woman, while the latter, feeling someone’s eyes watching her turned to look at her direction. They stared at each other as if the woman knew what was on Sybelle’s mind. She darted from her position and walked towards Sybelle.
“Pandora.” She introduced herself and smiled, extending her hand to Sybelle who was still caught in silence. “I’ve long been watching you.”
It was a beautiful name and Sybelle saw again the brilliance of her beauty in one frozen instant glowing in the radiance of the moon: dark eyes and fresh, red lips, lustrous, black hair, smooth skin and a full breast hugged tight by her long black dress. Realizing Pandora’s arm extending before her, she received it, feeling its smoothness yet she couldn’t understand the extreme coldness in it.
They sat compatibly on the nearby bench and watched the moon closely. They were silent and Sybelle couldn’t dare speak.
The nocturnal bats came squeaking up in trees. The gentle wind at night blew calmly, kissing their smooth cheeks.
“The bats feed every night.” It was Pandora who broke off the silence. “They’re on their refuge when the sun comes up.”
As if the bats had interested her, but Sybelle just sat there, she was not responding to Pandora. It was not the conversation that would start up the night. They could just sit there and feel each other’s presence. With Pandora, she felt safe and warm.
“Can we be in some other place?” Sybelle asked the woman as the people on the other benches were beginning to talk noisily and their chattering seemed to irritate her.
“Where do you want to go?”
“Anywhere.” She replied shortly.
Minutes later, she found herself in a big room and Pandora staring at the closed window. She didn’t know how she got there and she didn’t want to ponder on it either. She was too absorbed by the sensation brought by that room, with only the two of them and her thoughts of what will happen next.
She walked towards Pandora and they both looked at the moonlit surroundings outside.
“It’s cold over there.” Sybelle said.
Without Pandora’s response, Sybelle stared at her, at her beautiful eyes intently looking at the stillness outside. As if driven by the coldness, Sybelle’s hand came up slowly to fit against the curve of Pandora’s beautiful jaw while Pandora responded with her coaxing passionate kiss. Pandora’s fingers combed Sybelle’s thick, wavy hair until she sighed at the pleasure of being petted like a cat. Pandora was kissing Sybelle all over, more deeply, and more demandingly. It was a sparkling, irresistible feeling. There were only the two of them, and there was the slowly unfolding pleasure, lapping at the edges of their warm, insistent feelings like the heat being exerted by that room.
They were lying on that soft bed, watching the ceiling above while listening to each other’s throb. It was the throbbing that also lulled Sybelle to sleep.
By morning she found herself in her room. Everything that happened last night was like a dream yet it was all clear; how they talked in the park and the scene in that big room where she could still feel the stream of passion between them; between her and that mysterious woman with a beautiful name; Pandora. Even at her sweet slumber beside Pandora, she could hear her soft whispers, I know all about your dreams, but it’s not yet the time dear Sybelle.


“What does she say about your dreams Sybelle?” David asked.
“That night, she didn’t tell me about my dreams.”
“But how come you know about Queen Akasha?”
“It was only later, when I myself had drunk her blood, Pandora’s blood.”
She looked at David and diverted her gaze at the dark clouds.
“I killed my parents David.”


Sybelle and her father had a terrible fight one night, after he learned tat she was still hanging out with her boyish girlfriends. She knew she had disappointed him, even on his death. After that fight, her father had to go to Paris for another business transaction and by morning, he was on board on a huge shipping line. And sooner they learned about the terrible shipwreck on the vast oceans of the Atlantic where the only body that was not found was their father’s.
She saw how her mother grieved over the death of her father. She was kissing her picture like a madwoman and for nights, she could hear her sobbing that pierced her keen ears as she lay awake in her room.
And another cold night when Sybelle and Benjie walked the dark alley towards their house and several men appeared from behind the big trees and carried them by force, both of them blindfolded towards a silent place. She presumed it was the old cemetery, a few kilometers away from the town.
When the blindfolds were ripped off from their eyes, Sybelle was squinting in the dark, but she could see the nearby grave in blurring light. They were kneeling on the ground as the men held them tightly. The different faces of these men were clear to Sybelle and she will learn later from Benjie that these were the men whom he owed debts to. It was quite a large sum.
The men beat him terribly, as he struggled in pain and Sybelle was crying helpless. They kicked him hard while he whimpered softly like a dog being whipped by a merciless master. The man who was wearing all in black lighted a candle and pushed it towards Benjie’s face. He let a drop of hot wax from the melting candle in his eyes that made him scream more in pain.
Sybelle also felt the pain as Benjie struggled in anguish. She was crying and beyond the dark she saw another figure, yet it was a different figure from the men who abducted them. It was a blurry outline of a woman wearing a hood.
Like a flash of lightning, she saw how she ravished the men one by one, her fangs sinking into their necks. Both of them, Sybelle and Benjie saw in horror how she drank their blood, how she dispatched them all; her victims in an instant.
It was Pandora; she knew it was her, her beautiful face showed off yet faintly obscure in the dark, as her hood fell on her back.
Benjie staggered weak in one corner. Sybelle ran towards him and caught him on her arms. Pandora appeared standing before them. Sybelle’s eyes were felled with tears, pleading in pity, pleading the mysterious woman to do something for her brother.
The woman drew his blood, sipping through his neck and gave it back to him; her mouth on his mouth, his blood and her blood in one.

“I never saw Benjie for days and nights after that incident.”
“Didn’t you look for him? He asked.
“I searched for him and one night I went to that old cemetery. There I saw him lying weak. “I saw him suffered David.” Her voice was filled with sadness.
“But he was given another life.”
“I know, but I guess that life didn’t seem to be the gift after all. It seemed a curse.”
“You know it’s not a curse Sybelle.”
“I’m not sure David.”

Benjie was almost dead on top of the grave Sybelle was shaking him an he wasn’t moving either.
“Drink my blood Benjie!”
A shadow appeared from behind the dark, it was approaching them.
“What have you done to my brother?”
The figure in the dark was silent. She moved closer and without a word, she fed him again with her blood. Benjie stood up and walk uprightly like a soul without a life.
“It was the least I could do Sybelle.” Pandora said sadly.

“I asked her to do it for me, like what she did with my brother. Pandora did it without hesitation David.”
David carefully listened yet he was not responding at that moment.
“I also killed my mother.”
“Why?”
“I didn’t know. It wasn’t my intention and I never told my brother. One night, I was weak on my bed. I didn’t dare kill a mortal. She appeared on my door. I didn’t recognize her, but I could smell her blood. I even smelled it before she entered. In hunger, I ran towards her, drooling for flesh. I tore and open her throat as my mouth satisfied with blood. How it bubbled up out of the artery, over my lips. I drank all of her, until I was relieved with strength.”
Sybelle was now weeping softly while the man was just staring at her, silent, as if he was savoring the words that came out from Sybelle’s mouth like blood.
“I could feel her blood boiling inside me. Her death choking me as my vision became clearer again. How I wanted to die, perhaps I died in the moment Pandora made me into this creature I am now. It was death the moment I did my betrayal to my mother.”
The moon was now on its perfect curve, casting its light on the still trees, over the silent man and weeping woman.
“I’m afraid David. I could feel her soul and the other souls I’ve fed on everywhere. Perhaps death hasn’t found its way towards us but I might lead the way.”
She cast her words out to the still surroundings. The moon will fade moment later and there will be dusk.

Her Name Was Gabrielle

I felt the pain terribly as my entire body began to shudder in perfect agony. I clasped my fist in anticipation to the routing anger and madness in me. They held me tightly, two people clutching my arms at my back as I struggled hard against them, my knees flat on the ground and my eyes covered with a piece of cloth. There were seven of them, tall shadows in the dark, laughing hilariously as I screamed in pain. Another drop of hot wax ripped off my bare skin at the back and I let out another scream.
I heard their demonic laughter like warring thunder in my ears! In my mind was a desperate hope. Maybe someone would hear me, bring others to rescue me but no! The place was deserted remote cemetery, far from the vicinity of the town. Who would hear me? Ghosts?
“Who the hell told you to touch my girlfriend?” It was a husky voice buzzing my ears in an angry whispers. For a moment my mind froze and I remembered Gabrielle, the small woman I bumped and met yesterday in the bar. I’ve almost kissed her but a bulky man suddenly appeared and hauled her helplessly out.
Abruptly a hand ripped off the cloth that covered my eyes. I can’t see clearly, I was squinting in the dark, though I saw the nearby graves in blurring light. The face of the man in front of me was not quite clear but I remembered him. That arrogant man who dragged Gabrielle! I felt another full fist booming in my face. I fall on the ground, helpless like a wounded stag.
“Stand up and fight me you little squirt!”
I rolled on the grassy area, softly whimpering as I tried to stand but it was the moment where I felt so heavy; my body sagged completely on the ground. The scratches and burns all over my body hurt like hell! I was growling and my hands trembled, weak enough even to clench a fist!
I was dragged by two people towards that husky-voiced man. They held me upwards, my knees bending and I was facing the silvery night sky.
I heard the other one near me asked, “Can we just punish him more if we can’t kill him?”
“Well yes of course!” Another hilarious laughter rang in the air.
To my horror, the man lifted up a lighted candle up to my face. “Ah this can be done this way as well!” He smiled as if he would consume me alive.
“Let’s see after this if you can still use your charming eyes to attract everybody’s girl, you wretched crrrreep!” He even emphasized the letter that showed clear his crooked teeth. They were too provocative. I wanted to tear them all down in madness so that nothing will be left for him to smile! And his devilish eyes! How I wanted to slit them out!
Slowly he pushed the candle towards my face, near my wide, wrathful eyes. He let a drop of hot wax from the melting candle in my right eyes. It made me screamed in wild anticipation. The wax devoured my entire eye sockets!
“My eyes!” I screamed as hard as I could. “Damn you all son of a bitch!” I almost heard my voice like a wild roar from a wildly beast. I staggered down and lost my senses. I never knew what happened next.

The atmosphere of that ward made me sick all over. My eyes still hurt a bit but I’ve endured it somehow. How I wanted to get this bandage off my eyes now, I wanted to see light and get off from that smelly stench of the hospital and I’d hope it will be soon. Oh those furtive thoughts!
And my mind returned to the thoughts of our conversation. I wondered why she stayed silent then. I guess she just felt pity to what misfortune had befallen me.
“So that’s how fate has brought you here.” She suddenly broke the silence.
“Well yeah, sort of. Do you feel pity for me? If you do, then can you remove now this plaster thing in my eyes so I could see the beautiful face of this nurse who took care of me?” I deemed I sounded confident yet desperate to ask that from her.
“Not now. The doctor said your eyes will need some more days to heal.”
I definitely knew that but I really wanted to see her face, her voice quite so familiar to me. I’ve heard that and I knew we had met some time ago. I called her in the name those people in that hospital called her, Gabby. Such a nice name I guessed.
“Probably I’ll be staying here and I hope it won’t be too long. I can bear a couple of weeks more if this woman with a beautiful voice will have a conversation with me often.” I was definitely teasing her.
“Well, I would love to but I still have other patients to attend to. They also need me. For now I have to go, I’ll have to meet someone down there. Have a nice day Wilson!” As soon as she was leaving, a loud husky voice from someone outdoor was heard..
“Gabrielle! Over here!”
The name resonated at the back of my brain. Gabrielle. Where did I hear that name?
I trembled. An awful coldness seized me, this soulless anger and madness soon to regain in me, desperately and hopelessly I lay in that bed. How I wanted to disappear from that place!

Thursday, September 3, 2009

untitled

People come, people go..
They let you feel their presence
at some point but inevitably turn their backs on you..
They're like wind, they let you feel their breeze but soon be gone,
and what you have then?nothing, soon not even a trace of their soulless blow.
Are we really meant to say goodbye? Are we crafted to bear the pain? Are we here to spoil every moment in our lives waiting for someone never meant to come back?
Cruel but its reality.. So why mess up? Life is pretty short
for damn regrets, for depressions, for pains..
Time may break--yet it's also the
same time that crafts
a character in us..
"we're up!":)